If you had told me 12 months ago I would not only have a fibromyalgia diagnosis but I would also be writing a blog about it, I would have laughed at you. No-one would ever believe me; no-one would ever believe my pain. So as I left for the hospital on August 7th 2015 I didn’t really have any expectations as to what was going to happen but the best thing did – I got my diagnosis. I have fibromyalgia (Incase you didn’t know)
Having suspected that I had Fibro I didn’t expect anything to change because it wasn’t anything new to me, however after getting a diagnosis I became overwhelmed by this horrible – oh so I’m not going to wake up in the morning and all my pain will have gone away. That was the sort of feeling that kept me going pre-diagnosis. Like, no-one believes me so maybe just maybe it will disappear.
So then I had to accept the pain, it is here to stay. Me and Mr Fibromyalgia have been connected for life and no matter what I do Mr F won’t be going anywhere. The immediate difference I noticed after my diagnosis was that I no longer felt any shame when it came to discussing my pain, and more than anything I actually became more open about my anxiety issues. Opening up about them actually helps me to work out what causes them and once I know I can start to overcome them! That’s a winner to getting a diagnosis in my opinion. The problem with being more open about my pain though was I opened myself up to ignorance… and it came in bucket loads. I still can’t deal with the ignorance, even 9 months down the line. Not because I can’t.. but because I don’t feel I should.
Chronic illness is annoying enough, I don’t need some ignorant comment to make my day even worse. I started this blog as a way to vent my annoyance at the ignorance. It is almost a way of talking to the people who have been ignorant to me without actually having to confront them! Getting a diagnosis has changed me, it has made me even more passionate about the topic of Fibromyalgia and teaching people about the condition. I think the best way to learn about the issues with chronic illnesses is to speak to the people who have them. You can’t read the frustration of living with a chronic illness from a book, listening to the real life experiences of fibromyalgia is the most truthful way of understanding the condition.
In a nutshell, getting a diagnosis wasn’t the positive experience I expected it to be, I had to accept that my pain isn’t going anywhere. On the other hand, I have become way more passionate about a subject that has been close to my heart for many years, and even better thanks to starting my blog I have connected with many many like minded people.
Diagnosis is just the start of a never ending journey…