Some days I can wake up with bundles of energy, I feel normal,almost like a human. These days are few and far between and I try to make the most of them. Usually totally sucking at pacing, overdoing it and paying for it the next day or three.
This is how I think I feel today. Like the pain is punishing me for a couple of productive days and I really hate it. My mind tells me that I am 25, I should be able to manage way more than I actually do. Outsiders judge me for my decisions and it sucks. (Ok so maybe I think people judge me way more than they actually do but still that comment stands!)
Pain sucks, this pain sucks. I actually like some pain. I like the ache in my muscles after a workout in the gym. I quite like the pain in my legs after a day as work. I like those pains because I know they are because in that day I achieved something. What I really don’t like are the pains I have that have no reason for, the pains in my hands when I wake up in the morning, the pains in my legs before I have even stepped out of bed. Those pains suck, and I wish I could get rid of them because they mess up what I wanted to be a very productive week.
Today, my pain really does suck. I woke up numerous times in the night with pains that made me wriggle, throw the duvets on and off… feel hot, feel cold and just feel rubbish. I hate days like this, days like this just make me wish I could have a normal life. I am just going to do what I am rubbish at doing and try to look after myself today, not do too much and generally get the rest I know my body is shouting out for.
What do you do on a bad pain day? What do you do to take care of yourself?
The one thing I try to remember if that a bad pain day is just 24 hours in my life, I’ll make the best of it and hope that tomorrow is different.